Woohoo! You are going to be 8. It has always been a magical number for me for many idiotic reasons. I remember I was 6 when I made my first sarcastic comment – I hadn’t done well in Maths and while getting scolded I just said “ It’s just a test – It isn’t as if the heavens fell down!” Needless to say your grandparents were left speechless and I was given the royal ticking off once they recovered. By 8, I was a regular sarcastic comment generator.
Another idiotic thing that made 8 magical was Kuch Kuch Hota Hai – yeah yeah I know I’ve been hounding you about it but picture this – I have always known I wanted to be a Mom. Career, education etc yes, but being a Mom was also always something I wanted to be. So imagine how impressed I was when i watched that movie and this girl who just turns 8 gets this weird letter from her dead mom asking her to reunite her dad and his supposed first love – and the girl did It! For me that was the definition of turning 8 – my saracasm and the weird maturity displayed by the girl in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
Well, half job is done cos baby you are one sarcastic devil – thankfully not all the time;) Maturity, adjusting the fact that you are a boy we can leave off for a couple of more years..lol.
But this letter – this letter was something that movie inspired and I’ve got to write it.
I remember the day you were born so clearly – I was a clueless nut who thought she had this figured out – oh baby I was I wrong. I used to think work was hard and babies were a breeze – what an idiot!
You haven’t seen the corporate zombie that I was before I had you – up at 6.45 come hell or high water, dressed and out by 8 – worked all day like as boss to come home at 7. It seems like a lifetime away. You see me now – there are days I just change from day pajamas to night ones and I’m sure you wonder what is wrong with me. You see 8 years ago when I had you I became so lost in the wonder that was you that I left everything behind – I saw no point in dressing up just for you when all you wanted was a soft cuddly Mom. I went through a weird clothes phase when I started working again and I had just about settled to the thought of being a Mom and a woman when your baby brother hit me hard.
I love you both to bits and I wouldn’t change a thing, but sometimes I do wonder if I had given less of who I was into being a Mom would things have been different. We’ll never know now shall we!
Yesterday, at lunch when u were telling me the crazy stories behind Phasma , I remembered each of you phases – babbling on your first birthday, Pooh on your second, Mickey and Cars on the 3rd, toy story on the 4th, the ocean on the 5th, Baymax on the 6th and the Marvel Comics on the 7th. This last year you have dissected Star Wars and Harry Potter and you have grown into this beautiful person who stops dancing in a party to go and sit with a friend who isn’t feeling well. The friend was a girl – but I hope you would do it for a boy too.
I see so much of me in you – it fills me up but it also makes me want to tell you to not be this way- I’ve learnt that the hard way you see. But then the toughest part of my job is to let you learn your own lessons and to watch that shape you into who you will be – and no matter what, I will always be proud of you ( just please remember the no violent crimes or terrorism clause).
I worry no end – like yesterday when we were talking about taxi drivers and you were adamant about not being one- all I want you to learn is there is immense dignity in every honest labour – no matter what it is. And a person who isn’t afraid to do everything it takes will never fail in life.
So go out there my darling, and be the person you will be – I know you will be awesome! You boys are my biggest dreams and I know you shall shine bright – or even if you want gleam in subtlety that’s fine with me – just be content and confident and my job will be done well!
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